For want of the wrong continent
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Major AU! What if Columbus discovered Gravity Falls? What if Cortes used it's magic to make himself king? What if Ford was his respected mystic advisor? What if Loveless and Bill were lurking in the shadows, ready to cause a Civil war? What then?(to be continued in 'Tales of the falls')
1. Chapter 1

For want of the wrong continent

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **ATTENTION EVERYONE! I'll be briefly breaking my Hiatus and having a Halloween contest. I'll be posting Halloween themed stories, horror themed, or one's that end with a cliff-hanger! The story that gets the most reviews, will be the one I update on Halloween!(and maybe a few other surprises. heh. heh.)**

 **And don't forget to check out my new "Shake Up the Falls" Challenge!**

…...

 **Slenderman** looked through his files for ideas... **"Let's see...Steven Universe? No...Wander over Yonder? Nah... Invader Zim?...Eh. Maybe...Ah! Here we go! Wild Wild West! I haven't mixed THAT up with Gravity Falls yet!"**

Then Slenderman grew contemplative. " **Hmmm...this is gonna take some 'creativity'..."**

…1492, Atlantic Ocean...

"So in conclusion! Give up this 'route to china' nonsense! Head that way instead! A greater prize awaits! You'll know your going the right way...as fish will jump into your ship and manna will rain from the sky!"

The Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria cheered as the Angle showed them their new course...

When they were gone...Slenderman tore off his disguise... **"Suckers..."** Said Slenderman with a smile as he went to give all the indigenous tribes of the Americas immunity to European diseases...

…a few months later, on the eastern shores of North America...

 _Okay...according to the map the angle gave us...we need to find a cave that looks like an eagle...go in...and keep going straight until we find a stone containing the sword that shall belong to the man who shall rule this land...We will then be in the land 'where gravity falls'...whatever that means..._

Thought Christopher Columbus as he and his men walked to the cave that Slenderman had enchanted to teleport all who enter to the place where Gravity Falls(in most universes) would one day stand.

…...

 _It is written that Columbus and his crew found all that the Angle had promised._ _They found the sword...all tried to lift it...all failed._

 _But they did not despair...for they also found a land filled with milk and honey(their were in actual trees just waiting to be plucked!)!_

 _They also found great gobs of gold, silver, jewels, and platinum(which seemed useless, yet the Angle had insisted that one day it would be valuable...so they treated it as such)._

 _But they also found...madness...magic...and monsters..._

…...

Columbus screamed as he was attacked by a floating eyeball and flown away-

 **ZAP!**

Only for it to be hit by lightning! Columbus was surprised both by being saved...and by how...one of his closest advisers...Archibald Pines...had just struck the creature down with lightning!

…...

 _As it turns out; Archibald was part of a family of secret mystics...the crew was torn...on the one hand; Archibald was well liked(if a bit odd). More importantly, he'd just saved all their lives. On the other hand...he dabbled in magic..and by the law of both their king and religion...they were honor bound to burn him..._

 _Fortunately, the matter was resolved quickly..._

…...

"A heavenly pardon?" Asked Christopher Columbus as he examined the breathtakingly beautiful and seemingly indestructible piece of parchment. The 'Angle' nodded. "Yes, Archibald and his family are crucial to you and your country taming this land in the name of the lord! Henceforth; Archibald, his family, his friends/allies, and students are hereby free to study magic without consequence!"

And with that...the angle vanished once more...

All was quite...the Columbus just shrugged. "Good enough for me!..."

…...

Slenderman worked to warp time to speed up the life of one Hernán Cortés...

...

 _By the time of our lord; 1495...the combined efforts of Columbus and Archibald had cemented a permenant Spanish establishment in Gravity Falls...sadly, they were still molested by both monster and hostile indigenous tribe...especially by the warlike 'Blind-eye Tribe'. Who worshiped 'Cipher the one true Bill'._

 _By this time; Archibald had his family and all their fellow practioners and researchers move to Gravity Falls where Columbus promised them safe haven._

 _Meanwhile, more and more expeditions or entradas came through to fortify colonies on both sides of the cave...or t'he gateway of the divine' as it was now being called._

 _More importantly, many were coming to pull the sword from the stone. To claim god-given kingship of the land...the graet catholic church tried...and failed... Our great King Ferdinand II and the rest of the royal family tried...but also failed...many more tried...None suceeded...and then came Hernán Cortés..._

...

Cortes could hardly believe it! The sword was coming free in his hands! Everyone around him gasped in amazement as he pulled it from the stone!

Cortes suddenly burst into glorious golden flames! Cortes heard people screaming...but he was fine! In fact...he feel better than he ever had! He felt great power flowing through him!

When it was over...a strange inscription written in latin had appeared on the stone...

 **From this day forth: Hernán Cortés is dead, he has been reborn from the holy fire as Cortes Northwest! The one true king of this land! The symobl on your sword shall be the new symbol of your family.**

 **And when the one who bears the mark of the Great Bear, joins with the great Freeze and the liama...your successor he will be...**

Cortes considers these words with confusion...especially since the symbol on the sword was that of a liama...

...

 _And so the newly dubbed king_ _of the Americas set forth to conquer the lands he'd been promised. The soon to be legendary sword of Cortes; proved to be indestructible, could slice through even diamonds, a single prick would kill his enemies(and only his enemies) within the hour._

 _But that wasn't the swords only gift...it also gave Cortes inhuman strength, invincible from most harm and able to summon lightning and fire down on enemy armies._

 _With this power; Cortes conquered and subjugated many of the tribes of this land. However..it was quickly learnd that the sword only protected him from non-magical harm...the magic of the natives could still kill him._

 _Under the advice of Archibald Pines, the spanish began to capture or bargain with the native wizards...this allowed them to counter the natives magic..._

 _Archibald also advised that they set up Cortes as a god(before later converting them to their faith of course); to win the hearts and minds of the natives...he also pointed out that the spaniards were the vast, vast, vast minority in this land. And that assimilation rather than outright subjugation and oppresion may ensure long-term peace in this land._

 _Cortes sees the knowledge in Archibalds words, and makes him his top advisor. He goes on to convert or bargain with dozens of tribes. Convincing them to join the spanish empire peacfully with full rights of a spanish citizen._

 _Among the consequences of this decision; was the sharing of natives metallurgy secrets; strange steel that was twisted in ways that baffled spanish scholars..it would later be called Damascus Steel...which would later be called_ _ **'The founding of the field of nanotechnology'...**_

 _With the defeat of the Blind Eyes, Inca, and Aztec...the Spanish asserted their control over both continents. Following the instructions of the Angle, they dug in the placces he'd shown and found what he called 'oil'...it was a ghastly substance...but the angle had insisted on it's value..so they treated it as such..._

 _Between the tolerance and study of magic, discovery of platinum, oil, and the strange unearthly vessel found beneath Gravity Falls...a golden age of invetion and industry abounded..._

 _It was also around this time unfortunately, that the slavery of the various monster specise within Gravity Falls began..._

 _It is eventually discovered that the sword also granted Cortes eternal youth and immortality...sadly the same could not be said for Archibald...who eventually passed on._

 _But despite this, the Northwest and Pines family remained good allies..._

...

Slenderman warped time to speed up the lives surrounding the ill-fated Tudor monarch Dynasty...as well as the Anglo-Spanish war...

...1545 Great Britan...

Cortes watched silently as Queen Elizabeth was executed in front of the ruins of London.

 _England is ours...no thanks to that useless Philip!_

Cortez had become greatly disillusioned by the current king of Spain. He launched this attack on England ahead of schedule against all advise to be patient and to give the armada more time to prepare.

An even greater insult was when his good friend; Marquis de santa cruz(the appointed naval leader of the armada) got deathly sick...not only did Philip not postpone the attack, but he had the nerve to try to replace his friend with an ARMY commander! The man had never even TRAVLED overseas, nevermind having the experience to command an armada!

Thankfully, the Pines family was able to whip up a special potion to heal Marquis...and just in time! The England attempted to launch a preemptive strike while the Armada was still docked!

Cortes couldn't help admire the ingenuity and audacity of the English...setting fir to your own ships to use as makeshift weapons...he'd have never thought of that himself!

Fortunately; between Marquis's leadership skills and Cortes's power(and reinforcements in the form of the new 'Steam-Boats')...they'd turned the tide and crushed the entire English Armada with minimal casualties...

Cortes found his mind drifting toward the words of his family. For awhile his 'Northwest' children, Grandchildren, and great grand children had been trying to take advantage of the large cult-like following he'd unintentionally created in the Americas...to declare independence.

Out of respect and loyalty to Ferdinand the 2nd and later Charles the 5th (but partially because a lot of them were becoming spoiled brats that made him ashamed of his own blood), he'd ignored them...but with that idiot Philip in charge...he was starting to wonder...

Cortes shook his head of such thoughts. _Now is not the time for such thoughts...in any case...considering I was the one who snatched victory from the Jaws of defeat...Philip had better give me my fair share of this conquest..._

…Elsewhere...

In the dark of the night...King Philip tossed and turned in his sleep...for many nights he'd been plagued by nightmares of his crown and kingdom being taken from him...and news of Cortes's conquest of England had only made them worse...

From nearby...an Invisible Slenderman watched...and (somehow)smiled...

…...

 _Shortly after England's surrender, it was added to the Spanish Empire. Cortes felt that because of his accomplishment, he should be awarded half of England._

 _Philip refused! He accused Cortes of plotting against him. Enraged by this slander against his character and years of loyalty to the crown..the 'talk' devolved into outright hostilities._

 _And thus began the Spanish Civil war..._

… _Gravity Falls, 1555..._

Cortes sighed as he stared from the dining car of the inter-continental Steam engine's. _Such a beautiful landscape...almost makes me forget the current situation..._

He turns to his grandson Nathaniel. "Let me see if I have this straight...you commissioned the Jotunn(a powerful tribe of natives that specialize in frost magic)...one of our strongest allies...to build you a 'winter home'...and upon completion, you not only stiffed them of their payment...but had them ambushed and almost wiped out!?" He shouted enraged.

Nathaniel paled. "H-hold on! They were just savages! I'm your grandson! Surely-

Nathaniel didn't have time to finish...Cortes had tossed him out of the window of the moving train...but not before casting a spell to make sure he wouldn't be killed...he would be grievously injured however.

Cortes groans. How had things gotten so bad in his own family? He turned to the current head of The Pines family; Stanford Pines.

"I thank you for bringing this to my attention." Said Cortes. Ford nodded. "What are you going to do now?"

"It would seem that my family tree is in dire need of some 'pruning'...I'm going to ask around...see if any other members of the family has done something like this...as for the rest...they've been ridding off my coattails too long! I'm cutting them off! They want my riches...they'll have to earn them!"

Ford nodded. "What about the war? Also, what about the Jotunn?" Cortes groaned. Without him rallying the troops things would probably grind to a standstill.

He shakes his head. "This takes priority...the troops will just have to make do. As for the Jotunn...Send Nathaniel to them to be punished however he wants...they'll also need someone to help them get back on their feet...they'll probably not like my family to go anywhere near them right now..."

Ford puts a comforting hand on Cortes's shoulder. "Leave it to me...Our family will take care of them..."

…...

 _Okay...this, might be harder than I thought._ Realized Ford as he looked over the Jotun that had just been dropped off in the new-fangled 'horseless carriages.'

One thing that would be a problem was their clothing traditions...they were so used to the icy Tundra, that the heat of this area drove them to strip down almost everything(and some didn't stop there).

One such Jotuun was a five year old Wendy Corduroy. She wore nothing save for a loincloth...and she'd snuck away from the group to explore this strange white mans house.

She climbs in through an open window...and finds herself in a little boys room. The sleeping boy seems to be three years younger than her. She goes over and lifts him out of bed to take a closer look.

She'd seen plenty of babies...given the recent...'disaster'...they'd been forced to enchant some of the younger girls to be able to 'nurse' due to so many children suddenly being without mothers.

Feeling curious...and mischievous...she lets this 'white' baby suckle off her...

And that's how Dipper Pines met Wendy...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **AN: There, apparently has been some confusion. I am still continuing this story. I'm just continuing it in 'Tales of the falls' ;it's easier for me to keep track and organize that way.**

 **As for the rate of updating; that depends on real life, inspiration, will of my lord and savior Jesus Christ...and bribing me with 'Shake up the falls chapters.**

 **Yes, for every ONE chapter of my 'Tales of the Falls' challenge you make, I'll have THREE stories of YOUR choosing updated.**

 **...as long as they follow the requirement below:**

 **SHAKE UP THE FALLS: CHALLENGE!**

 **Primary Objective:**

 **Tired of fanfictions just copying cannon and not doing anything really different? Well, I am!**

 **So I say we do a 'deconstruction' of Dipper and Mabels 'sibling bond'! Through the following-**

 **(BEGIN FLASH-FORWARD)**

 ** _A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._**

 ** _A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_**

 **" _Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._**

 **" _Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._**

 ** _Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._**

 **" _I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_**

 ** _CRASH!_**

 ** _The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_**

 ** _The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._**

 ** _Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._**

 ** _Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._**

 ** _Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._**

 ** _(FLASH-FORWARD END)_**

 **What I just showed you was a peek into a future after Gravity falls, where Mabel no longer needs to fear growing up...because she doesn't have to! Why would she need to when she has a pushover brother who is willing to sacrifice everything: never getting married, never being independent, never having a life of his own to make her happy?!(in other words: An Enabler/Co-dependent relationship)  
**

 **You can give this vision to whoever you want: Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Pacifica, Stan, Ford, Soos, etc- You can have it sent to them at any time in the series, or have them sent back in time, or do a Peggy Sue! And have them use this knowledge to shatter cannon!**

 **Also Bill Cipher's threat needs to be taken more seriously!(I'm talking actual full-on Armageddon preparation after his first appearance!) And they need to take Gideon seriously when he sends the creepy letters and hosts his TV show(You don't have to kill him, but the Pines Family have to at least Neutralize him...or make some kind preparation to fight him when he breaks out). EXAMPLE: Mable is forced to take Dipper more seriously and not mess with him to survive or The realization that she and her loved one's might die at the end of the summer make Wendy not so hung up on the whole 'age gap' with Dipper and goes out with him.  
**

 **Also, the hero's need to be proactive! When Gideon starts sending creepy letters and making television broadcasts, they need to take care of him(kill or neutralize; either works). All that matters is that they strike first at the first sign of trouble; And don't just have them wait around and do nothing!  
**

 **NO LEMONS, LIMES, YAOI, YURI OR INCEST PLEASE! I HATE THAT STUFF...  
**

 **Secondary objective: the following episodes can't end as they did in cannon!(especially if your doing a Crossover!) If you want to kill Wendy and have Pacifica be the rebound fine. Or you could have Wendy give Dipper a chance after saving him from ghosts...have them go on a couple dates(this can even happen off-screen if it's easier)...Wendy decides it's not going to work...and then land Pacifica on the rebound(that works too) Just do something different!(conversely, you could also just give Pacifica Tyrone and Dipper could have Wendy...just saying...everyone would be happy...)**

 **"The Inconveniencing".(it annoyed me that no one did anything with Wendy's 'stare at wall and rethink everything' statement, I'd appreciate some help there)  
**

 **Time Travelers Pig(call it semantics if you must, but I would never let a girl get hurt just to save a pig. Mabel's just going to have to suck it up and learn she can't have everything)(I'd recommend using Steven Universes 'The Answer' as a template(or it's Aesop at least)) The ending can't be cannon! Especially if your doing a crossover!(Endings where BOTH Waddles and Wendy are saved are also okay)  
**

 **Fight Fighters(none of this band-aid solution 'hate each other in silence' stuff! I want to see an aftermath! Have Wendy find out the truth and be mad at both of them if you have to! Just do something different!**

 **Little Dipper(I would prefer you just skip this episode entirely to be honest) (Or better yet, use Steven Universes 'Too short to Ride' episode as a template)(But if you do, do this episode...skip the 'twins idiotically Argue over the crystal instead of saving themselves and their home from Gideon' Scene. Have Dipper punch out Mabel and use the crystal. Or have Mabel punch out Dipper to use the crystal! Just do something different! Especially if it's Crossover! In that case have someone else punch them and use the crystal!)Considering what Dipper just sacrificed for Mable in Time travelers pig...I've always felt that Mable was more then a bit ungrateful and mean in this episode...  
**

 **Boyz Crazy(I actually have no problem with the ending here believe it or not, but I was annoyed that it was rendered somewhat meaningless since there was no aftermath(between Dipper and Wendy anyway). So...you know...go do your thing. I would recommend using Steven universes 'week of Sardonyx' Arc as a template)**

 **Into the Bunker((take a deep breath)look, you can handle the shipping however you want. But you have to have Mabel equally punished for the trouble(it is her fault they were locked in there in the first place after all). (Preferably where Wendy and Dipper are mad at Mabel and refuse to forgive her.)(their also needs to be an aftermath, Dipper having an honest, real conversation with Wendy about how he still has feelings for her and where they go from here. I'd recommend using Steven Universe episodes 'Mr Greg' or 'we need to talk' as templates)(also please just skip 'Roadside attraction' entirely, please)(if your doing a crossover, and bring someone else down there with them, you have to have them stop Mabel from locking Dipper up!  
**

 **Northwest mansion Noir:(Groan) so much wasted potential. Pacifica's parents just forgive her? Nothing comes from the shipping? Pacifica was nearly killed by Wendy's ancestor, and nothing comes from that?)(P.S. I'm aware that a lot of people have actually fixed that in their fics(for which I'm grateful), I just feel that it needs to be said)**

 **Mabel and Dipper v.s. the future(you do what you want with this...just don't make things so ridiculously one-sided and place all the blame on Dipper as it did in cannon(also, Dipper has to find out about Mabel's deal with Bill))**

 **Tertiary objective:**

 **Dipper V.S. Manliness: I always thought it weird that their was no girl(be it Wendy, pacifica, Tambry, or candy, etc) during his 'man trials'. Whether to beat him at being a 'man', laugh at his loincloth(or if he loses said loincloth, make him embarrassed), be inadvertently a crucial part of his 'trial', or just along for the ride...I just think it's a story possibility that should be explored is all... I also feel that Stan's hypocrisy for badmouthing ABBA while he himself watches 'The Duchess Approves' should be explored...as well as Dipper getting mad at Mable ridiculing him after everything he's done for her,  
**

 **Carpet Diem: It always bugged me that nobody cared about Dippers leg getting chewed off by a wolf, A woodpecker biting out his tongue, or his personal belongings getting vandalized...Don't just slap a band-aid solution 'Status-Quo' approved ending on it...make Dipper mad at Mabel for putting him through all that! Have it be a long messy fight! If you make them reconcile...they BOTH have to earn it!(especially Mable)  
**

 **Summerween: Why is it so horrible for Dipper to want to celebrate Halloween his own way? True, he shouldn't of lied, but slanting the episode to put him completely in the wrong for wanting to have fun his own way...was completely unnecessary! Pleas make this episode more balanced**

 **Dreamscape: For the most part I have no complaints about the episode, but it needs to be at least addressed that Stan only 'toughens' up Dipper while letting Mable do whatever she wants. Also, could someone PLEASE tackle Gideon when he's gloating about the Deed in front of the Pines?**

 **Soos and the real girl(I don't get why Melody should have to leave, I'd rather prefer she stayed and have a sub-plot going with Soos)**

 **Blendin's Game(I mostly had no problem with this...but it always bugged me that no one did anything with the 'young Wendy thinks Dipper is cute' storyline...some assistance here would be most appreciated)(I'd also like to see Wendy's reaction to that)  
**

 **Tale of two Stans:(I'm with my fellow fanficton writers. Their should have at least been a small rift popping up between Mabel and Dipper after Mabel trusted Stan over Dipper(Especially considering she prevented Ford from killing Bill!))**

 **Stanchurian Candidate: I feel it was rather selfish for Stan to put his pride over the safety of his family, when they reveal the mind-control to him and he gets mad, lay it on home how he's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about his family!**

 **The last MabelCorn:** **I feel it was rather selfish for Mable to put her needs over the safety of her family, you can keep the 'Unicorns are selfish jerks' revelation if you want, but also lay it on home how she's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about her family!**

 **Roadside Attraction:(Recommended by Emma Iveli) If you MUST do this episode, Mable has to give Dipper more advice then just 'move on'(seriously, it's a bit weird she didn't help him more with this considering how much she loves matchmaking and knows better then anyone else how socially awkward Dipper is) And she and Grunkle Stan need to get into a big argument over who's advice is more valid. (pointing out the hypocrisy of Mable badmouthing flirting with multiple people, when she dose the same would be funny)  
**

 **Weirdmagedon: (can't think of anything...save for wanting to see a fic. where Ford's Bill-Killing Gun actually works...and Maybe some more character development/bonding between Dipper Wendy...and possibly Pacifica)(Oh, having Wendy comfort Dipper over his 'You can't make someone fall in love, you can only be worthy of love' speech would be nice too)  
**

 **Escape from Reality: JUST BURST THE BUBBLE! Especially if it's a crossover! A 22 minute story wrapped up in 5 minutes! Mabel can just deal with it!(it would also be nice if Wendy, Pacifica, or SOMEONE comforted Dipper about not getting any Valentines, also it be nice if someone reminded Wendy and Soos that their friends and family are suffering and they need to rescue them before they go gallivanting in the bubble).  
**

 **Take Back the Falls: If your doing a crossover, you HAVE to have someone from the Crossover-verse SUCCESSFULLY stop Stan from breaking the circle. By threatening him with death or dismemberment if necessary!**

 **EX: Ford: "Him and I...Grammar Stanley"**

 **Stan is about to beat him...when he feels cold steel pressed against his back**

 **Undyne: "YOU %$ #% one foot from where you are, I'll #% &$%$ kill you!"**

 **Stan gulps nervously...but stays in his place...and the cipher is complete...**

 **NOTE: to all Wendip and Dipifica fans alike...have you considered just making a water proof Tyrone and giving him to Pacifica while Dipper has Wendy? You could literally have your cake and eat it too!**

 **ANOTHER note: crossovers with gravity Falls in this challenge are accepted and encouraged! Let your imagination run wild!(But ONLY as long as you don't have the people from said crossover-verse sitting around useless and not letting them change the plot(let the above 'stop Stan from ruining the circle' be your template for ANY other moments in Gravity falls Cannon)**

 **And one more thing...I'm well aware that this might not be some people's cup of tea...so if you want to adopt ANY of my stories...or give them to a friend/acquaintance. That's fine.**

 **This dose NOT mean I'm discontinuing my stories, I'm just trying to give you more options. I will also allow multiple adoptions, so more then one person can enjoy this!**

 **Well, that's more or less it, good hunting YAH'll!**

 **P.S. just a heads up; I'm finally moving into my own place come Christmas/new years...the place is nice, affordable rent, geographically Convenient, free wi-fi...the only downside is I have to wait THREE MONTHS to get said internet set up, it'll be top quality and FREE...but I have to wait at LEAST that long for it.**

 **A friend of mine said he could get a 'hotspot' set up...but who knows what will happen there.**

 **Bottom Line: If my updates online drop off for a couple months or I won't answer your Messages...that's probably why.**

 **But regardless; merry Christmas and a happy new year!**


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